Better Impermanence

Family

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mindfulness and resiliency and little things like that

9/20/2020 - Personal, Family

I started going to therapy last year for a plethora of reasons. It's expensive and I can't afford it right now and we need to overhaul our healthcare system but that's not what I'm here to talk about. There's a huge focus in therapy on being present in the moment and practicing gratitude, tenets of mindfulness and Buddhist practice that I resonate with deeply. 2020 has been a whole lot of really terrible things but it's also been a lesson in gratitude and mindfulness of this present moment, for me at least. When covid started and the thing I was most concerned about was if I could contract the virus from particles left on my clothing after a trip to Trader Joe's, I focused on the gratitude I felt in the safety of my home. When the BLM protests began, I grabbed my mask and my sign and kept social distance on the street, doing my very small part of bringing awareness to the systemic injustices and inequity our country was founded on. I was no longer thinking about contracting the virus via particles left on my sweatshirt or my can of garbanzo beans. Then the NorCal fires started and I could no longer take my morning walks or do yoga outside. Everything was confined to my house. I made an "IN CASE OF EVACUATION" list on my Notes App and practiced breathing deeply for ten minutes at a time in my own bedroom. Finally this week, I walked outside my back door and saw blue sky for the first time in weeks.

I'm usually what I like to call a Long Game type of person - I'm always thinking ahead. What's going to get me what I want in the long term? But, 2020 has taken that away from all of us. All I've been able to do is focus my mind and my body on each present moment. It's hard. I miss everything. I miss everything! But, look at how we've adapted. I was marveling at this the other night when I gathered with some friends in a backyard, a covid tradition we've had for months. I was thinking about how we've all adapted to our own boundaries of safety and care for ourselves and others. Some of us hug each other. Some of us do a little namaste or an elbow bump. We tune into each other's body language or simply ask if we can have some sort of physical interaction and it's become normal. No one is thrown by it or insulted. This has become our reality.

Look at how we've all adapted and have proven our resiliency. Those are the things that make me hopeful this year, knowing that we can and we will continue to expand and progress and adapt even when the future looks so fucking bleak. Even when the air is filled with smoke and the government is corrupt and our girl RBG is now an angel and the climate is shifting in front of our very eyes.

All we have is this present moment and if 2020 has taught me anything, it's to be here, now and enjoy.

Here's what's been getting me through this week.

these flowers